I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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