I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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