just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
