and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
