I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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