A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
