Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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