Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize