and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
