I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My Higher Power is John Stamos
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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