I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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