I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
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The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
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Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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