she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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