He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize