I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
