3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I accidentally burped into my bong.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
