You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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