i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
