so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
