I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
