the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
