I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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