they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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