I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
