I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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