I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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