Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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