Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
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I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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