so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.