well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.