Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
