you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.