Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I didn't notice because vodka
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.