I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
