i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
