I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
