you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
