I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I wear drunk well.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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