Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
