It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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