he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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