why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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