Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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