WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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