There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
