help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
