If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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