Define "chronic" masturbator.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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