guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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