mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
