this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
