even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize