I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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