Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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