fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
