What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
