dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
