I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
