Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
