Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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