Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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