dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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