32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
