Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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