his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
